The Columbine experience in the US was a very tragic event indeed. Here is an email a batchmate from high school way back in 1981 sent me which I think is good to keep here until everyone keeps in mind and heart the message in there. Happy reading. God bless and take care:
Guess our national leaders didn't expect this, hmm? On Thursday, Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado , was invited to address the House Judiciary Committee's subcommittee. What he said to our national leaders during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful.
They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert! These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness. The following is a portion of the transcript:
"Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out f or answers.
"The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was not the club he used.. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain's heart.
"In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don't believe that they are responsible for my daughter's death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended.. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel's murder I would be their strongest opponent.
I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy -- it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expresses my feelings best..
Your laws ignore our deepest needs,
Your words are empty air.
You've stripped away our heritage,
You've outlawed simple prayer.
Now gunshots fill our classrooms,
And precious children die.
You seek for answers everywhere,
And ask the question "Why?"
You regulate restrictive laws,
Through legislative creed.
And yet you fail to understand,
That God is what we need!
" Men and women are three-part beings.. We all consist of body, mind, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and wreak havoc. Spiritual presences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact. What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs -- politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do not need more restrictive laws. Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts..
"As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, he did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right! I challenge every young person in America , and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain.. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA -- I give to you a sincere challenge. Dare to examine your
own heart before casting the first stone!
My daughter's death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!"
Do what the media did not - - let the nation hear this man's speech.. Please send this out to everyone you can.. God Bless
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
A TRUE DEATH EXPERIENCE
One ex-seminarian I used to play tennis with sent me this hair-raising email. Happy reading. Hope this brings you closer to God. Take care and God bless
Father Joe Maniyangat, a Catholic priest, has a website where you can read more about him. www.stmarymacclenny.com/fatherJstory.html. After you read this, kindly forward to people you know who you think do not believe that there is no Hell and Purgatory.
Death Experience
written by Father Jose Maniyangat (Florida)
I was born on July 16, 1949 in Kerala , India to my parents, Joseph and Theresa Maniyangat. I am the eldest of seven children: Jose, Mary, Theresa, Lissama, Zachariah, Valsa and Tom.
At the age of fourteen, I entered St. Mary's minor seminary in Thiruvalla to begin my studies for the priesthood. Four years later I went to St. Joseph 's Pontifical Major Seminary in Alwaye, Kerala to continue my priestly formation. After completing the seven years of Philosophy and Theology I was ordained a priest on January 1, 1975 to serve as a missionary at the Diocese of Thiruvalla.
In 1978 while teaching at the St. Thomas minor seminary in Bathery, I became an active member of the Charismatic Renewal movement and began conducting charismatic retreats and conferences in Kerala. On Sunday April 14, 1985 , the Feast of the Divine Mercy, I was going to celebrate Mass at a mission church in the north part of Kerala, and I had a fatal accident. I was riding a motorcycle when I was hit head-on
by a jeep driven by a man who was intoxicated after a Hindu festival. I was rushed to a hospital about 35 miles away. On the way my soul came out from my body and I experienced death. Immediately I met my Guardian angel. I saw my body and the people who were carrying me to the hospital. I heard them crying and praying for me. At this time my angel told me: "I am going to take you to Heaven, the Lord wants to
meet you and talk with you". He also said that on the way he wanted to show me hell and purgatory.
First, the angel escorted me to hell. It was an awful sight! I saw Satan and the devils, an unquenchable fire of about 2,000 Fahrenheit degrees, worms crawling, people screaming and fighting, others being tortured by demons. The angel told me that all these sufferings were due to unrepented mortal sins. Then, I understood that there are seven degrees of suffering or levels according to the number and kinds of mortal sins committed in their earthly lives. The souls looked very ugly, cruel and horrific. It was a fearful experience. I saw people whom I knew but I am not allowed to reveal their identities. The sins that convicted them were mainly abortion, homosexuality, euthanasia, Hatefulness, unforgiveness and sacrilege. The angel told me that if they had repented they would have avoided hell and gone instead to purgatory. I also understood that some people who repent from these sins might be purified on earth through their sufferings. This way they can avoid purgatory and go straight to heaven. I was surprised when I saw in hell even Priests and Bishops, some of whom I never expected to see. Many of them were there because they had misled the people with false teaching and bad example. After the visit to hell, my Guardian angel escorted me to Purgatory. Here too, there are seven degrees of suffering and unquenchable fire. But it is far less intense than hell and there was neither quarreling nor fighting. The main suffering of these souls is their separation from God. Some of those who are in Purgatory committed numerous mortal
sins; but they were reconciled with God before their death. Even though these souls are suffering, they enjoy peace and the knowledge that one day they will see God face to face. I had a chance to communicate with the souls in Purgatory. They asked
me to pray for them and to tell the people to pray for them as well, so they can go to heaven quickly. When we pray for these souls we will receive their gratitude through their prayers and once they enter heaven their prayers become even more meritorious. It is difficult for me to describe how beautiful my Guardian angel is.
He is radiant and bright. He is my constant companion and helps me in all my ministries, especially my healing ministry. I experience his presence everywhere I go and I am grateful for his protection in my daily life.
Next, my angel escorted me to heaven passing through a big dazzling white tunnel. I never experienced this much peace and joy in my life. Then immediately the heaven opened up and I heard the most delightful music, which I never heard before. The angels were singing and praising God. I saw all the saints, especially the Blessed Mother and St. Joseph , and many dedicated holy Bishops and Priests who were shining
like stars. And when I appeared before the Lord, Jesus told me: "I want you to go back to the world. In your second life you will be an instrument of peace and healing to my people. You will walk in a foreign land and you will speak in a foreign tongue. Everything is possible for you with my grace". After these words, the Blessed Mother told me: "Do whatever He tells you. I will help you in your
ministries". Words can not express the beauty of heaven. There we find so much peace and happiness, which exceed a million times our imagination. Our Lord is far more beautiful than any image can convey. His face is radiant and luminous and more beautiful than a thousand rising suns. The pictures we see in the world are only a shadow of His magnificence. The Blessed Mother was next to Jesus; she was so beautiful and radiant. None of the images we see in this world can compare with her real beauty. Heaven is our real home, we are all created to reach heaven and enjoy God forever. Then, I came back to the world with my angel. While my body was at the hospital, the doctor completed all examinations and I was pronounced dead. The cause of death was bleeding. My family was notified and since they were far away, the hospital staff decided to move my dead body to the morgue. Because the hospital did not have air conditioners they were concerned that the body would decompose quickly. As they were moving my dead body to the morgue, my soul came back to the body. I felt an excruciating pain because of so many wounds and broken bones. I began to scream and then the people became frightened and ran away screaming. One of them approached the doctor and said: "the dead body is screaming". The doctor came to examine the body and found that I was alive. So he said: "Father is alive, it is a miracle, take him back to the hospital".
Now, back at the hospital, they gave me blood transfusions and I was taken to surgery to repair the broken bones. They worked on my lower jaw, ribs, pelvic bone, wrists, and right leg. After two months, I was released from the hospital, but my orthopedic doctor said that I would never walk again. I then said to him: " the Lord who gave me my life back and sent me back to the world will heal me". Once at home we were all praying for a miracle. Still after a month and with the casts removed I was not able to move. But one day while praying I felt an extraordinary pain in my pelvic area. After a short while the pain disappeared completely and I heard a voice saying: "You are healed. Get up and walk". I felt the peace and healing power on my body. I immediately got up and walked. I praised and thanked God for the miracle.
I reached my doctor with the news of my healing and he was amazed. He said: "your God is the true God. I must follow your God". The doctor was Hindu and he asked me to teach him about our Church. After studying the faith, I baptized him and he became Catholic. Following the message from my Guardian angel, I came to the United
States on November 10, 1986 as a missionary Priest. First, I worked in the Diocese of Boise, Idaho from 1987 to 1989 and then became the Director of Prison Ministry in the Diocese of Orlando, Florida from 1989 to 1992.
In 1992, I came to the Diocese of St. Augustine where I was first assigned to St. Matthew's Parish in Jacksonville for two years. I was then appointed Parochial Vicar of Assumption Church from 1994 to 1999. In 1997 I was incardinated as a permanent member of the Diocese. Since June 1999, I have been pastor of St. Mary's Mother of Mercy Catholic Church in Macclenny , Florida . I also serve as the Catholic Chaplain for Florida State Prison in Starke, Union Correctional Institution in Raiford and Northeast Florida State Hospital in Macclenny. I am also the Diocesan Spiritual Director of the Legion of Mary.
On the first Saturday of each month I conduct an Eucharistic and charismatic- healing ministry in my Parish, St. Mary Mother of Mercy. People come from all over the diocese, many parts of Florida and even from out of the state. I have been invited to conduct the healing ministry in other major cities of the United States including: New York, Philadelphia, Washington DC, San Jose, Dallas, Chicago, Birmingham, Denver, Boise, Idaho Falls, Ontario, Miami, Ft Lauderdale, Poolsville; and many other countries: Ireland, Spain, Czech Republic, India, France, Portugal, Yugoslavia, Italy, Canada, Mexico, Cayman Island, Hawaiian Islands. Through this Eucharistic- healing ministry I have seen many people healed physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. People with various illnesses such as: cancer, AIDs, arthritis, heart conditions, eye problems, emphysema, asthma, back pains, bad hearing and many others have been healed completely. In addition, several times during the year I conduct a special healing service for the healing of the family tree, in which the effects from ancestral sins are blocked and the person receives complete healing. Scripture says that the effects from family sins can linger around for three to five generations (Exodus Chapter 34 verse 7). So, in many cases we need generational healing. Doctors and medicines do not help to heal certain sicknesses caused by our family tree.
During the Healing ministry, many people rest in the spirit before the Blessed Sacrament and some experience renewal of the soul and healing of the body.
Father Joe Maniyangat, a Catholic priest, has a website where you can read more about him. www.stmarymacclenny.com/fatherJstory.html. After you read this, kindly forward to people you know who you think do not believe that there is no Hell and Purgatory.
Death Experience
written by Father Jose Maniyangat (Florida)
I was born on July 16, 1949 in Kerala , India to my parents, Joseph and Theresa Maniyangat. I am the eldest of seven children: Jose, Mary, Theresa, Lissama, Zachariah, Valsa and Tom.
At the age of fourteen, I entered St. Mary's minor seminary in Thiruvalla to begin my studies for the priesthood. Four years later I went to St. Joseph 's Pontifical Major Seminary in Alwaye, Kerala to continue my priestly formation. After completing the seven years of Philosophy and Theology I was ordained a priest on January 1, 1975 to serve as a missionary at the Diocese of Thiruvalla.
In 1978 while teaching at the St. Thomas minor seminary in Bathery, I became an active member of the Charismatic Renewal movement and began conducting charismatic retreats and conferences in Kerala. On Sunday April 14, 1985 , the Feast of the Divine Mercy, I was going to celebrate Mass at a mission church in the north part of Kerala, and I had a fatal accident. I was riding a motorcycle when I was hit head-on
by a jeep driven by a man who was intoxicated after a Hindu festival. I was rushed to a hospital about 35 miles away. On the way my soul came out from my body and I experienced death. Immediately I met my Guardian angel. I saw my body and the people who were carrying me to the hospital. I heard them crying and praying for me. At this time my angel told me: "I am going to take you to Heaven, the Lord wants to
meet you and talk with you". He also said that on the way he wanted to show me hell and purgatory.
First, the angel escorted me to hell. It was an awful sight! I saw Satan and the devils, an unquenchable fire of about 2,000 Fahrenheit degrees, worms crawling, people screaming and fighting, others being tortured by demons. The angel told me that all these sufferings were due to unrepented mortal sins. Then, I understood that there are seven degrees of suffering or levels according to the number and kinds of mortal sins committed in their earthly lives. The souls looked very ugly, cruel and horrific. It was a fearful experience. I saw people whom I knew but I am not allowed to reveal their identities. The sins that convicted them were mainly abortion, homosexuality, euthanasia, Hatefulness, unforgiveness and sacrilege. The angel told me that if they had repented they would have avoided hell and gone instead to purgatory. I also understood that some people who repent from these sins might be purified on earth through their sufferings. This way they can avoid purgatory and go straight to heaven. I was surprised when I saw in hell even Priests and Bishops, some of whom I never expected to see. Many of them were there because they had misled the people with false teaching and bad example. After the visit to hell, my Guardian angel escorted me to Purgatory. Here too, there are seven degrees of suffering and unquenchable fire. But it is far less intense than hell and there was neither quarreling nor fighting. The main suffering of these souls is their separation from God. Some of those who are in Purgatory committed numerous mortal
sins; but they were reconciled with God before their death. Even though these souls are suffering, they enjoy peace and the knowledge that one day they will see God face to face. I had a chance to communicate with the souls in Purgatory. They asked
me to pray for them and to tell the people to pray for them as well, so they can go to heaven quickly. When we pray for these souls we will receive their gratitude through their prayers and once they enter heaven their prayers become even more meritorious. It is difficult for me to describe how beautiful my Guardian angel is.
He is radiant and bright. He is my constant companion and helps me in all my ministries, especially my healing ministry. I experience his presence everywhere I go and I am grateful for his protection in my daily life.
Next, my angel escorted me to heaven passing through a big dazzling white tunnel. I never experienced this much peace and joy in my life. Then immediately the heaven opened up and I heard the most delightful music, which I never heard before. The angels were singing and praising God. I saw all the saints, especially the Blessed Mother and St. Joseph , and many dedicated holy Bishops and Priests who were shining
like stars. And when I appeared before the Lord, Jesus told me: "I want you to go back to the world. In your second life you will be an instrument of peace and healing to my people. You will walk in a foreign land and you will speak in a foreign tongue. Everything is possible for you with my grace". After these words, the Blessed Mother told me: "Do whatever He tells you. I will help you in your
ministries". Words can not express the beauty of heaven. There we find so much peace and happiness, which exceed a million times our imagination. Our Lord is far more beautiful than any image can convey. His face is radiant and luminous and more beautiful than a thousand rising suns. The pictures we see in the world are only a shadow of His magnificence. The Blessed Mother was next to Jesus; she was so beautiful and radiant. None of the images we see in this world can compare with her real beauty. Heaven is our real home, we are all created to reach heaven and enjoy God forever. Then, I came back to the world with my angel. While my body was at the hospital, the doctor completed all examinations and I was pronounced dead. The cause of death was bleeding. My family was notified and since they were far away, the hospital staff decided to move my dead body to the morgue. Because the hospital did not have air conditioners they were concerned that the body would decompose quickly. As they were moving my dead body to the morgue, my soul came back to the body. I felt an excruciating pain because of so many wounds and broken bones. I began to scream and then the people became frightened and ran away screaming. One of them approached the doctor and said: "the dead body is screaming". The doctor came to examine the body and found that I was alive. So he said: "Father is alive, it is a miracle, take him back to the hospital".
Now, back at the hospital, they gave me blood transfusions and I was taken to surgery to repair the broken bones. They worked on my lower jaw, ribs, pelvic bone, wrists, and right leg. After two months, I was released from the hospital, but my orthopedic doctor said that I would never walk again. I then said to him: " the Lord who gave me my life back and sent me back to the world will heal me". Once at home we were all praying for a miracle. Still after a month and with the casts removed I was not able to move. But one day while praying I felt an extraordinary pain in my pelvic area. After a short while the pain disappeared completely and I heard a voice saying: "You are healed. Get up and walk". I felt the peace and healing power on my body. I immediately got up and walked. I praised and thanked God for the miracle.
I reached my doctor with the news of my healing and he was amazed. He said: "your God is the true God. I must follow your God". The doctor was Hindu and he asked me to teach him about our Church. After studying the faith, I baptized him and he became Catholic. Following the message from my Guardian angel, I came to the United
States on November 10, 1986 as a missionary Priest. First, I worked in the Diocese of Boise, Idaho from 1987 to 1989 and then became the Director of Prison Ministry in the Diocese of Orlando, Florida from 1989 to 1992.
In 1992, I came to the Diocese of St. Augustine where I was first assigned to St. Matthew's Parish in Jacksonville for two years. I was then appointed Parochial Vicar of Assumption Church from 1994 to 1999. In 1997 I was incardinated as a permanent member of the Diocese. Since June 1999, I have been pastor of St. Mary's Mother of Mercy Catholic Church in Macclenny , Florida . I also serve as the Catholic Chaplain for Florida State Prison in Starke, Union Correctional Institution in Raiford and Northeast Florida State Hospital in Macclenny. I am also the Diocesan Spiritual Director of the Legion of Mary.
On the first Saturday of each month I conduct an Eucharistic and charismatic- healing ministry in my Parish, St. Mary Mother of Mercy. People come from all over the diocese, many parts of Florida and even from out of the state. I have been invited to conduct the healing ministry in other major cities of the United States including: New York, Philadelphia, Washington DC, San Jose, Dallas, Chicago, Birmingham, Denver, Boise, Idaho Falls, Ontario, Miami, Ft Lauderdale, Poolsville; and many other countries: Ireland, Spain, Czech Republic, India, France, Portugal, Yugoslavia, Italy, Canada, Mexico, Cayman Island, Hawaiian Islands. Through this Eucharistic- healing ministry I have seen many people healed physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. People with various illnesses such as: cancer, AIDs, arthritis, heart conditions, eye problems, emphysema, asthma, back pains, bad hearing and many others have been healed completely. In addition, several times during the year I conduct a special healing service for the healing of the family tree, in which the effects from ancestral sins are blocked and the person receives complete healing. Scripture says that the effects from family sins can linger around for three to five generations (Exodus Chapter 34 verse 7). So, in many cases we need generational healing. Doctors and medicines do not help to heal certain sicknesses caused by our family tree.
During the Healing ministry, many people rest in the spirit before the Blessed Sacrament and some experience renewal of the soul and healing of the body.
Guidebook 2010
I got these tips from my sis Annie. Happy reading on these tips. God bless
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile!
Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile!
Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Good Advice FOR WOMEN, Written By A Police Officer,
I just received this from a high school batchmate, and I think this one is good for everybody, women especially. So happy reading and God bless. Take care always.
Crucial
Because of recent abductions
In daylight hours, refresh yourself
of these things to do in an emergency situation... .
This is for you, and for you to share with your wife,
your children, everyone you know.
After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about.
It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2.. Learned this from a tourist guide...If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy...The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their chequebook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE...
If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. Women are always trying to be sympathetic: but before doing so, STOP! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door..' The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.
10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full ball so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.
Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbours! Please pass this on. This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America 's Most Wanted when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.
I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle...I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughter s, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better to be safe than sorry...Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or love one's life.
Crucial
Because of recent abductions
In daylight hours, refresh yourself
of these things to do in an emergency situation... .
This is for you, and for you to share with your wife,
your children, everyone you know.
After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about.
It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2.. Learned this from a tourist guide...If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy...The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their chequebook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE...
If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side... If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. Women are always trying to be sympathetic: but before doing so, STOP! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door..' The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.' He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.
10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full ball so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.
Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbours! Please pass this on. This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America 's Most Wanted when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.
I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle...I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughter s, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better to be safe than sorry...Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or love one's life.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
ICE (In Case of Emergency)
The first time I read this before, I immediately acted on it. Now there is a way in my phone for anybody to contact someone in case something wrong or bad happens to me. It's today when I have received this message again that I thought it immortalized in this email. It's about doing something good to the one who wants to help you but doesn't know where to start. Thanks to my former student, Indonesian Max for sending it to me. Happy reading. And yes, ACT ON IT FOR YOUR OWN SAKE!
We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in its memory. But nobody,
other than ourselves, knows which of these numbers belong to our closest family or friends.
If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending on us would have our mobile phone but wouldn't know who to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored ; but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? Hence this "ICE" (In Case of Emergency) Campaign.
The concept of "ICE" is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact during emergency situations. As cell phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or persons who should be contacted during emergency under the name "ICE" ( In Case Of Emergency).
The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when he went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to call. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose.
In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right person by simply dialing the number you have stored as "ICE."
For more than one contact name, simply enter ICE 1, ICE 2 and ICE 3 etc. A great idea that will make a difference!
Let's spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our mobile phones today!!! !
Please forward this. It won't take too many "forwards" before everybody will know about this. It really could save your life, or put a loved one's mind at rest.
ICE will speak for you when you are not able to do so.
We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in its memory. But nobody,
other than ourselves, knows which of these numbers belong to our closest family or friends.
If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending on us would have our mobile phone but wouldn't know who to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored ; but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? Hence this "ICE" (In Case of Emergency) Campaign.
The concept of "ICE" is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact during emergency situations. As cell phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or persons who should be contacted during emergency under the name "ICE" ( In Case Of Emergency).
The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when he went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to call. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose.
In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right person by simply dialing the number you have stored as "ICE."
For more than one contact name, simply enter ICE 1, ICE 2 and ICE 3 etc. A great idea that will make a difference!
Let's spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our mobile phones today!!! !
Please forward this. It won't take too many "forwards" before everybody will know about this. It really could save your life, or put a loved one's mind at rest.
ICE will speak for you when you are not able to do so.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Don't give up.....
I just love this one. Thanks to Liza. God bless and happy reading.
One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life..
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said. "In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would
not quit." He said.
"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6
months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".
"I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others."
He said.
"The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?"
I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never, Never, Never Give up.
For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!
Heavens door open this morning, God asked me... My CHILD...
what can I do for you?" and I said "Daddy please protect and bless the one reading this message.
God smiled and answered ... "request granted ............
This message is now in your hands.
What will YOU do with it?
send this to at least 10 people so they too will have their
lives in God's hands
You never know when GOD is going to bless you!! Good things happen when you least expect them to !!!!!!!!
One day I decided to quit...
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life..
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said. "In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would
not quit." He said.
"Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared
to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6
months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".
"I would not quit on the bamboo.
I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others."
He said.
"The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?"
I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and brought back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
Never, Never, Never Give up.
For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.
Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,
tell the problem how Great the Lord is!
Heavens door open this morning, God asked me... My CHILD...
what can I do for you?" and I said "Daddy please protect and bless the one reading this message.
God smiled and answered ... "request granted ............
This message is now in your hands.
What will YOU do with it?
send this to at least 10 people so they too will have their
lives in God's hands
You never know when GOD is going to bless you!! Good things happen when you least expect them to !!!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A Few Good Senior Moments
This one was sent by one confrere who must be confronting himself with the reality of aging. I like the humor in it. These could be true, for all we know. Happy laughing and reading. God bless
Garage Door
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'
The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires..
(And it was able to drive itself out of the garage hehe)
An elderly gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
(Moral Lesson is" be careful with your words in the presence of the Elderly.)
Feeling Elderly
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
(Now that's feeling newborn, not elderly!)
That Restaurant
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
(Mnemonic style no?)
Another one here, good for eager nurses to consider:
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
(Oh, so you're not the patient!)
SERIOUS MUTUAL MEMORY PROBLEMS DENIAL (We call this Elderly Pride)
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember .. .
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast?'
(Ahaah!)
Now That's Companionship
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
(You mean she can still drive you crazy???)
Serious Hearing Concerns
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
BRAND TIME
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty..'
(Serious? Yah, that's the brand of the hearing aid. Why not?)
HOT MOMMA
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
One more PAHABOL!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
Now , before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh !!
Garage Door
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'
The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires..
(And it was able to drive itself out of the garage hehe)
An elderly gentleman....
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
(Moral Lesson is" be careful with your words in the presence of the Elderly.)
Feeling Elderly
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
(Now that's feeling newborn, not elderly!)
That Restaurant
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
(Mnemonic style no?)
Another one here, good for eager nurses to consider:
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'
(Oh, so you're not the patient!)
SERIOUS MUTUAL MEMORY PROBLEMS DENIAL (We call this Elderly Pride)
Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember .. .
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure..'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast?'
(Ahaah!)
Now That's Companionship
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
(You mean she can still drive you crazy???)
Serious Hearing Concerns
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'
BRAND TIME
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty..'
(Serious? Yah, that's the brand of the hearing aid. Why not?)
HOT MOMMA
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
One more PAHABOL!
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
Now , before you 'forget', send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh !!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Bank Account of Life
Adelina sent me this one which is really beautiful. Reminds me of the old people whom I have met. One was particularly always angry, even spitting at me or anyone he meets, and to think that he was already senile. Another was particularly smiling always. Is the story below a proof that what we deposit in life we will reap ultimately before we go? Happy reading. God bless!
A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready. As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.
I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'
'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied. Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bankaccount of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank. I am still depositing.
'Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready. As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.
I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.'
'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied. Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bankaccount of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank. I am still depositing.
'Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
Taxi
This one was sent by High School classmate Batch 81 Bong. Hope this one inspires us in our lives. Happy Reading!
I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets..
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'..
'Oh, you're such a good boy' , she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said.
'Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
Thank you, my friends...
I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets..
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'..
'Oh, you're such a good boy' , she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said.
'Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
Thank you, my friends...
Monday, September 21, 2009
THE BEST TEACHER
Here is another one that breaks all the depression about our students who may appear at first to be unable to help oneself. Teachers are really called to be at the forefront of enlivening the spirit to reach new heights and fulfill one's destiny in life. Thanks Wally. God bless
Enjoy this:
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs.. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."
His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken." Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."
After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.
The story does not end there.. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” (Mother Teresa)
Enjoy this:
As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard. Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers. At the school where Mrs.. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."
His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken." Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."
After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life. Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... the letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.
The story does not end there.. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” (Mother Teresa)
An inspiring commercial
Mr. Wally has sent me this advertisement which is worth the time, really inspiring and encouraging. Enjoy it like I just did. God bless and take care.
Here is the site, just click it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um9KsrH377A
Here is the site, just click it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Um9KsrH377A
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Drinking & Yoga Part II
Here's the continuation of that funny comparative analysis between Drinking & Yoga:
Dolphin
Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.
Salambhasana
Great exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.
Ananda Balasana
This position is great for massaging the hip area.
Malasana
This position, for ankles and back muscles.
O yoga na tayo. Wala pang sakit ng ulo. Hehe.
Dolphin
Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.
Salambhasana
Great exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.
Ananda Balasana
This position is great for massaging the hip area.
Malasana
This position, for ankles and back muscles.
O yoga na tayo. Wala pang sakit ng ulo. Hehe.
Drinking & Yoga
This one is really hilarious, and honestly I'm afraid it might go the undesired direction. However, I found it amusing and I thought of putting pics as suggested. Let's see the effect. Let me know what you think - your laughter. Hope you don't imitate the yogist in your drunkenness. Thanks Rege. God bless
Subject: Drinking is like Yoga
Research confirms that drinking gives you the same benefits yoga does!!!
Savasana
Position of total relaxation.
Balasana
Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm.
Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.
Marjayasana
Position stimulates the midrift area and the spinal column.
Halasana
Excellent for back pain and insomnia.
The pictures allowed here appear to be limited, hence the next blog will show the pictures. K? Let's keep the choices later until the pics are all completely shown. God bless
Subject: Drinking is like Yoga
Research confirms that drinking gives you the same benefits yoga does!!!
Savasana
Position of total relaxation.
Balasana
Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm.
Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.
Marjayasana
Position stimulates the midrift area and the spinal column.
Halasana
Excellent for back pain and insomnia.
The pictures allowed here appear to be limited, hence the next blog will show the pictures. K? Let's keep the choices later until the pics are all completely shown. God bless
Friday, September 11, 2009
The END-ORPHAN Effect
Thanks to Willy who sent this email entitled The Clown Chakra, which I believe is all about ending one's orphan syndrome. I just love this. Maybe Willy your clown chakra was open, releasing those heart-shaped balloons that inspired me to place his here so that indeed this can now start the way it should be: simply inspirational. God bless and happy reading.
THE CLOWN CHAKRA
The clown Scientists have found that all our problems can be placed under one heading: Seriousness.
Seriousness is the leading cause of everything from Cancer to Reincarnation. Scientists from the Clown Academy have already discovered a new source of healing.
It is a psychic energy Point located between the heart chakra and the throat chakra. It is called The Clown Chakra.
If people are feeling miserable,
if they have financial problems,
if their relationship situation is the pits,
if they are in ill health,
if they have a need to sue people,
if they find fault with their brother,
then obviously, their Clown Chakra is closed.
When this happens, the scientists have observed under a high-powered microscope that the cells of every organ display a sad face, and when the Clown Chakra is open and functioning normally, the cells display a happy face :).
The scientists realized that if a person is ill, it is because his mind has projected guilt onto the cells of his body and has forced out the love
that is normally found within each cell of the body.
The cells are therefore saying, "I Lack Love," or " ILL" for short. The scientists also discovered that all disease is due to the fact that the cells are out of ease or diseased.
When the Clown Chakra is opened and working (or rather, playing) properly, the psychic mechanism sucks up misery, pain, anger, resentment, grievances, unhappiness, etc., and converts the energy into
tiny red heart-shaped balloons.
The red heart-shaped balloons contain Love and Joy. These balloons are directed to the diseased cell or situation, and a happy :) face appears instantly.
When the Light enters the darkness, the darkness is gone.
Sometimes these red heart-shaped balloons are called endorphins, due to the fact that when anyone experiences them, the feeling of separation ends. They experience being back home with All That Is and hence are no longer an orphan. This is the well-known end-orphan (endorphin) effect.
So, if you think someone is attacking you, Clown Scientists recommend that you visualize sending that person red heart-shaped balloons filled with Love and Joy.
Remember to keep your Clown Chakra open and remember to laugh.
THE CLOWN CHAKRA
The clown Scientists have found that all our problems can be placed under one heading: Seriousness.
Seriousness is the leading cause of everything from Cancer to Reincarnation. Scientists from the Clown Academy have already discovered a new source of healing.
It is a psychic energy Point located between the heart chakra and the throat chakra. It is called The Clown Chakra.
If people are feeling miserable,
if they have financial problems,
if their relationship situation is the pits,
if they are in ill health,
if they have a need to sue people,
if they find fault with their brother,
then obviously, their Clown Chakra is closed.
When this happens, the scientists have observed under a high-powered microscope that the cells of every organ display a sad face, and when the Clown Chakra is open and functioning normally, the cells display a happy face :).
The scientists realized that if a person is ill, it is because his mind has projected guilt onto the cells of his body and has forced out the love
that is normally found within each cell of the body.
The cells are therefore saying, "I Lack Love," or " ILL" for short. The scientists also discovered that all disease is due to the fact that the cells are out of ease or diseased.
When the Clown Chakra is opened and working (or rather, playing) properly, the psychic mechanism sucks up misery, pain, anger, resentment, grievances, unhappiness, etc., and converts the energy into
tiny red heart-shaped balloons.
The red heart-shaped balloons contain Love and Joy. These balloons are directed to the diseased cell or situation, and a happy :) face appears instantly.
When the Light enters the darkness, the darkness is gone.
Sometimes these red heart-shaped balloons are called endorphins, due to the fact that when anyone experiences them, the feeling of separation ends. They experience being back home with All That Is and hence are no longer an orphan. This is the well-known end-orphan (endorphin) effect.
So, if you think someone is attacking you, Clown Scientists recommend that you visualize sending that person red heart-shaped balloons filled with Love and Joy.
Remember to keep your Clown Chakra open and remember to laugh.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
DON'T MESS WITH A FILIPINO
I got this story from a certain Rege, and I find this quite amusing to "immortalize" here. I think this is met to be something to laugh about. I hope the sting won't be that painful. Have a good laugh and relax:
In a New York sidewalk, a Filipino is enjoying a hearty breakfast "coffee, croissants, toast, butter, jam, etc. While an American, chewing a gum, sat next to him and started an unwanted conversation.
American: You Filipinos eat the whole bread?
Filipino : Of course!
American: ( Blowing bubbles with his gum) We don't. We, Americans only eat what's inside. The crust we collect in a container, recycle, make these into croissants and sell these to the Philippines .
American: Do you eat jam with bread?
Filipino : Of course!
American: (Chuckling and crackling his gum between his teeth) We don't. Americans eat fruits at breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and leftovers into containers, turn the seeds into jam and sell it to the Philippines .
Filipino : Do you have sex in America ?
American: Of course, we do!
Filipino : What do you do with the condoms?
American: We throw them, of course!
Filipino : We don't. In the Philippines, we put them into containers, recycle them, turn them into chewing gums and sell it to America.
In a New York sidewalk, a Filipino is enjoying a hearty breakfast "coffee, croissants, toast, butter, jam, etc. While an American, chewing a gum, sat next to him and started an unwanted conversation.
American: You Filipinos eat the whole bread?
Filipino : Of course!
American: ( Blowing bubbles with his gum) We don't. We, Americans only eat what's inside. The crust we collect in a container, recycle, make these into croissants and sell these to the Philippines .
American: Do you eat jam with bread?
Filipino : Of course!
American: (Chuckling and crackling his gum between his teeth) We don't. Americans eat fruits at breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and leftovers into containers, turn the seeds into jam and sell it to the Philippines .
Filipino : Do you have sex in America ?
American: Of course, we do!
Filipino : What do you do with the condoms?
American: We throw them, of course!
Filipino : We don't. In the Philippines, we put them into containers, recycle them, turn them into chewing gums and sell it to America.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Jewish Stories
JEWISH SAMURAI
emailed by: Walter CAANCAN
There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief.
A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai.
The Japanese samurai opened a matchbox, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his sword. The bumblebee dropped dead, chopped in half.
The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!"
The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese samurai, to come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese samurai also opened a matchbox and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! The fly dropped dead, chopped into four small pieces.
The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!"
Now the emperor turned to the Jewish samurai, and asked him to demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Jewish Samurai opened a matchbox, and out flew a gnat. His flashing sword went Whoosh! But the gnat was still alive and flying around.
The emperor, obviously disappointed, said, "Very ambitious, but why is that gnat not dead?"
The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said, "Circumcision is not meant to kill."
ANY MEXICAN JEWS?
Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.
Sid asked Al, "Are there any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico?"
Al replied, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter"
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?" and the waiter said, "I don't know Senor, I'll ask the cooks."
He returned from the kitchen in a few minutes and said "No sir, no Mexican Jews."
Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, "Are you absolutely sure?"
The waiter, realizing he was dealing with "Gringos" gave the expected answer, "I will check again, Senor!" and went back into the kitchen.
While the waiter was away, Sid said, "I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere."
The waiter returned and said "Senor, the head cook said there is no Mexican Jews."
"Are you certain?" Al asked once again. "I can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"
"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replied the exasperated waiter, "All we have is Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews, and Grape Jews."
emailed by: Walter CAANCAN
There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief.
A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai.
The Japanese samurai opened a matchbox, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his sword. The bumblebee dropped dead, chopped in half.
The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!"
The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese samurai, to come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen. The Chinese samurai also opened a matchbox and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! The fly dropped dead, chopped into four small pieces.
The emperor exclaimed, "That is very impressive!"
Now the emperor turned to the Jewish samurai, and asked him to demonstrate why he should be the chief samurai. The Jewish Samurai opened a matchbox, and out flew a gnat. His flashing sword went Whoosh! But the gnat was still alive and flying around.
The emperor, obviously disappointed, said, "Very ambitious, but why is that gnat not dead?"
The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said, "Circumcision is not meant to kill."
ANY MEXICAN JEWS?
Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.
Sid asked Al, "Are there any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico?"
Al replied, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter"
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?" and the waiter said, "I don't know Senor, I'll ask the cooks."
He returned from the kitchen in a few minutes and said "No sir, no Mexican Jews."
Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, "Are you absolutely sure?"
The waiter, realizing he was dealing with "Gringos" gave the expected answer, "I will check again, Senor!" and went back into the kitchen.
While the waiter was away, Sid said, "I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere."
The waiter returned and said "Senor, the head cook said there is no Mexican Jews."
"Are you certain?" Al asked once again. "I can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"
"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replied the exasperated waiter, "All we have is Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews, and Grape Jews."
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Just a starter
One of my friends has been sending me emails that really stirred up my spirits. Hence, it dawned on me to make a monument to these emails that roam around us, hoping that they will stand the test of time. Some of us can simply throw them away to clean up our inboxes. Many may not be as inspired as the messages may want us at the time we receive them. Hence, this blog is meant to provide a space for those emails that make a person better after having read them.
Of course, these emails were not mine. That's one thing I want to make sure here. And neither am I making money from this blogspot. I just want then to acknowledge those who made them through this blog. I hope I am not infringing on copyright here. Hence, in case you have read an email which you yourself have made and circulated, and would like your name given credit here, please email me ( berngu721@gmail.com ) so I can include your name in the credits list.
I intend to include here even those with pics and videos if ever I get them linked in here. Again, thanks to those who sent these emails.
God bless and take care
Of course, these emails were not mine. That's one thing I want to make sure here. And neither am I making money from this blogspot. I just want then to acknowledge those who made them through this blog. I hope I am not infringing on copyright here. Hence, in case you have read an email which you yourself have made and circulated, and would like your name given credit here, please email me ( berngu721@gmail.com ) so I can include your name in the credits list.
I intend to include here even those with pics and videos if ever I get them linked in here. Again, thanks to those who sent these emails.
God bless and take care
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